she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
