theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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