I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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