i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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