some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
