Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
