I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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