when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
