I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
