i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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