He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i now understand why vodka
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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