with your own penis?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
