she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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