I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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