About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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