Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
