You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
