Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I think your dad took our porno
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
