I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
