She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
