ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
