Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
