i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
