I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
