I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
