so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
