I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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