HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
