we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
