The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
