So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
