Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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