im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
