This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
