Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
