every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
