turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
