found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
