Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
