I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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