btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
