4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
well you can't waste a boner
accomplished twins. life is a go
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We have so much sex to catch up on
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
