That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
