yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think my fart just growled at me.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
