This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
