Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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