i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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