...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
