Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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