My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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