I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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