Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize