Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You took a bar mat shot.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
